Sometimes When You're Crazy

Sometimes when you're crazy, you experience the most wonderful moments of life. Terror. Delight. Ecstasy, Sadness, Peace, Joy, Anger, Violence, Compassion, etc. You feel them unexpectedly and with intensity. Maybe I'm not crazy but its just life that's crazy and I'm experiencing it... on drugs (the prescription kind, Grandma). Well, nope. I'm pretty sure its me that's the crazy. I used to think that crazy people were "evil" or "bad". Now I know. We're just like the rest of you, but with some extra Sriracha in the mix. That's right. My life has spice (Sriracha kind, not the street drug).

I can experience a variety of emotions so intensely. Like playfulness, sadness, creative flow, humorous comebacks, etc. And yet most of the time, I feel a general affect of anxiety. Even on intense amounts of anti anxiety medication. Is it crazy that I can't get simple tasks done like laundry or grocery shopping? When I do, it takes an intense amount of energy and focus. I can't even get fun things done like read books or sew or embroider. I feel like I have about 100 different thoughts that zip around in the confines of my cluttered brain and while they dart around, I hop up and down trying to catch one that I might take hold and act upon it and yet, as my fingertips brush upon the tip of an idea, it dashes away.

Need a visual? Think Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Think of when the heroic trio (Harry, Ron, Hermoine) get to the locked door after escaping from the three-headed dog Fluffy. There's those billions of keys flying around above their heads in the rafters. Harry successfully nabs one while swirling around on a broom. Holy smokes. I just figured out the solution to my problem. I need a Nimbus 2000. Now where's a girl to get one? Diagon Alley. Anyone have the directions (and funding) to get there? Road trip!