Thursday, January 27, 2011

Lunchtime Today

Yesterday I woke up starving and felt that a hot bowl of peaches and cream would do the trick. By the time I made it out to the kitchen, I was late for work. Peaches and Cream? Foregone.

Lunch time came around. Who was so hungry that she was the first one out the door when the bell rang, ahead of the students? That's right. Yours truly and I didn't just buy one greasy, yummy slice of pizza. I bought two. On the way back from the teacher's lounge, glorious food in hand, I hustled my buns in quick-pace mode. Right as I was about 10 yards from the classroom door, a slice of pizza dropped. Pepperoni side down. The face was caked with a thick dirt layer beyond the justification of any 10 second rule.

By the time my prep hour arrived, I was desperate. I'm not exaggerating. I made it to the teacher's lounge with my only cash dollar knowing that there had to be something to fill my gnawing stomach. On top of that, I needed to calm my desperate nerves. I felt peace the moment I saw it. A Kellog's Rice Krispee treat for 70 cents. I shoved the dollar in and hit E... but before I could finish my entry order, change shot out and a pack of Toasted Almonds dropped to the retrieval bin. I stared through the glass at my blue, krispy desire. Not funny. My desperation flooded back. Bitter? No, the almonds were salty and in no way satisfying. I tried not to storm out the door and tear across the campus.

I made it home. I was still so hungry but now with an added side of tire. As I sat at the counter, I relayed my sad story to my mom and sis. During the whole time of relaying the pathetic circumstances, in the back of my head I was trying to find revelation of some genius concoction that could be withdrawn from our empty cupboards. As soon as my sad story ended, I was struck with that desired revelation. My mouth dropped as I saw Las eating some Michaelina's pizza bites. Genius. Heaven's providential dews rested upon me. Food and satisfaction at last! I dashed to the garage freezer. Pizza Bites!!! What was my discovery? I found that freezer stocked with Michaelina's Sallisbuy Steak, Chicken Alfredo, Macaroni Marinara, and some other dreadful Michaelina masterpiece I can't remember the name of. No more pizza bites. I almost started crying.

This morning I was running late again but it didn't matter because I was planning on buying a tasty breakfast burrito at school. I love them with hot sauce. I got there. Stood in the dang student line and with longing eyes requested my delight as soon as I approached the window. The reply? "Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's. Tuesdays and Thursdays are french toast." I almost barked at the kid cashier. By "barked" I mean like the kind of a feverish, feral dog lashing out at an innocent pedestrian. It must be that dang, new poodle we got at home. It's rubbing it's canine cooties off on me.

So after this morning sans breakfast burrito, lunchtime came around. I went to the teachers' lounge and ordered two slices of pepperoni pizza, same as yesterday. I wasn't desperate or anything but I was hungry for two. I walked back to class scared to lose my lunch (Please note that by "lose my lunch" I mean drop it, not throw it up). I watched my step and even smiled as I passed the place of dirty doom from the day before. As I rounded the corner, I saw the classroom ahead. I was so close... Would I make it?.... I didn't drop a slice. That's right. Ate a full lunch today and enjoyed every bite. Every bite of the TWO pieces.

The End.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Poll and a Winner

So the little poll on the side? The correct answer is Tiger Woods.

Now for the winner. Remember that one time how there were some embarrassing photos posted about how I look like a poodle? See HERE. Well, somehow at our household we managed to get another dog and he sure is a winner. You could call him my long lost brother...

Which one's the dog? The black one on the bottom. James named him Billy Joel. I know what's probably going through your head now, "Shouldn't she be embarrassed about this timeless photo?". Yes, but here's the deal. I'm tired and the dog is squirmy and this was the best photo out of seven. I'm not takin more than that. Besides, how cute can you look after a day of hammering in the coal mines? On a positive note, I think it captures our stylish poodle-hair-dos quite nicely.

Saturday, January 22, 2011


This week the speech teacher came in to class to work with the students on expressive language. She asked the students to describe Dustin, a senior (This kid cracks me up. I'm so lucky to have him). One of the girls in the class mentioned that he had two shirts on, an undershirt and shirt. Dustin proceeded to explain, in a manner as if he'd been caught doing something wrong, "I'm wearing my undershirt inside out, because it's inappropriate." I can't even tell you how much I enjoy working with that kid. You'd love him too if you knew him.


Let's talk about Kami. I can't get enough of this girl either. For homework, I gave her a list of eleven words with simple, simple definitions. The assignment was to copy the words and definitions two times. On her assignment I wrote "Copy 2x". I gave examples in class of what those directions implied but somehow she came back the next day with her own interpretation. Here's how it went after I asked the students to place homework on their desks:

"Kami? You didn't do your homework?"
"Miss Dyar! I did it!"
I pointed to the directions trying to explain, "You were supposed to copy it two times."
"Miss Dyar! I did my homework! See!"

She then moved the top sheet aside and revealed a 2 photo copies of the assignment.

"Kami? Where did you make the copies?!"
"I went to the library!"

Needless to say, she definitely got credit for her homework that night.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

So Far So Good

Toward the end of the year 2010, I started watching my moves more closely. I'd made it almost a whole year without stitches, which seem so unnatural. Was disaster lurking around the corner? It just so happened that the watching payed off. I made it through clear and free from any E.R. experiences and the aquisition of bad bruises was pretty minimal too. Here're a few memories from 2009:

That one time I was out roller-blading and biffed it.

Closer up...

At least you can't see the chin bone like the incident prior to this one.

Moving furniture around the house

Fell off the chair while stapling stuff to the wall.

This is definitely a gross post but the pictures have been sitting in my phone forever and it's time to move on. Besides, my posterity must be forewarned of the clumsy nature bestowed upon them. Also posterity, when you're chin is still dripping blood ten minutes after the big biff, don't stroll down to the house of the doctor who's your neighbor just to make sure you need stitches. Don't be a doofus. Get in the car and go to your local Urgent Care pronto.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


I think I've found my new dream job.

In 5th grade, a D.A.R.E. officer would come to our class and tell really cool stories. My favorite was the one he told about going undercover, posing as a teenager. He dressed up, or rather, down to "hip" clothing and solicited the business of some juvenile selling tickets to a drug party on the corner of a dark street (or something like it). The police showed up to the ticketed festivities that weekend in more undercover garb. Once they were in, crashing procedures took place and the D.A.R.E. officer was shot in the face. Well, maybe he wasn't shot in the face. Maybe they just caught a couple of guys as they flushed goods down the toilet. I honestly don't remember the end of the story. The reason for remembrance of the other details is because I was so impressed that he could pass as a teenager when he was clearly such an old guy (probably mid to late 20's). Such a sneaky feat. What a guy.

Here I am, 26 and on the job for about two weeks at the high school as a teacher. Let me relate some encounters I've had:

1. The first day I have keys- It's morning and I'm standing at the main academic building fumbling around, looking for the right 1 out of 5 keys to open the locked doors. I desperately need to make some copies and all I can think about is how cold it is and would the home made snuggie my mom made me for Christmas be too unprofessional to wear around outside? The doors are locked but students are everywhere since it's about 15 minutes before the bell is supposed to ring (I must inform you that students are not aloud into that building until the bell rings. No exceptions.). So anyway. I'm there, fumbling and one of the security guards starts yelling at me "Hey. What are you doing?". "Um, I just need to make some copies." He then proceeded to remind me "You know you're not allowed in the building before school." I then had to convince him I was a teacher because I didn't have my i.d. on me. Sort of embarrassing.

2. I take some of my kids to the library- We had some stuff to do. We walked in and stood by the desk. I looked a little lost since I'd never been in there before. The librarian addressed the group (3 of us) and inquired, "Do you guys have a pass from your teacher?" I let her know pretty quick that I was the teacher. "Oh! Ha ha!" was her reply. Call me a student again? I don't think so.

3. I ruined my sticker parking pass- So I went to the bookstore to get a new one. Despues me saying "Hi" all cheerful-like, the parking pass lady responded all crochedy-like "Yes?" I was a little afraid. The counter is on a semi-elevated stand so her towering over me was a little scary. "Um, I ruined my parking pass so I need to get a new one" was my reply. She rudely informed me "That will be five dollars." She talked to me like I was so dumb, as if she couldn't believe I was making her say it. "Okay," was my timid reply. There was an awkward silent pause as she stared me down while I fumbled for my wallet. I reached to hand her the money, which she didn't move to accept. Her slow-spoken, condescending query followed, "Do you have your student i.d.? Are you over 18?" "Um, I'm a teacher." After such a meek reply she drew in a breath, shocked. She was so embarrassed and apologetic, and nice from then on. The other lady who works there tried to make her feel better and told her she thought I was a student too. Really? Come on people.

4. I went to the nurse's office- This morning afforded me some dire need for Motrin. I asked the nurse for some and she just stared at me for a few seconds. "Are you a student?" At least she hesitated to ask, right?

So there you have it. I look like a student. This can be taken in many ways as a good or bad thing. I'm going to stick on the good side and possibly put in an application at the police department. Maybe I can be a cool undercover, future D.A.R.E guy. Right. I could have some serious fun with the business, as long as I don't get shot in the head! : )

As a side note, the poll is a little lacking. I'm lovin the votes that are up. Many blessings to you who have submitted. VOTE. As another side note, some good stories are cooking up. There are some pretty funny experiences had as a teacher. Definitely one of the most recent happenings will be posted soon. As another side note, it would be pretty cool if there were some more votes at the poll on the sidebar. It's the one with the weird face above it. VOTE!

Monday, January 10, 2011

How to Deal

The other night I was chattin with Mom and James at the kitchen counter. I was a bit stressed and I think James must have been too. While dealing with my emotion by venting, James did some of his own. He tore up the cover of his golf magazine. I think he felt much better. Now, let's play a game of guess who. Who was on the cover of James's magazine?

Let's see. I set up a little quiz thingy on the sidebar. Humor me and take a vote? I'll Let you know the one true answer sometime. I wish I could give you a definite time frame but it's not top on the to-do list; however, if there is an astounding number of votes, I'll hop on it and let you know soonerish. Ah, the suspense!