I think I've found my new dream job.
In 5th grade, a D.A.R.E. officer would come to our class and tell really cool stories. My favorite was the one he told about going undercover, posing as a teenager. He dressed up, or rather, down to "hip" clothing and solicited the business of some juvenile selling tickets to a drug party on the corner of a dark street (or something like it). The police showed up to the ticketed festivities that weekend in more undercover garb. Once they were in, crashing procedures took place and the D.A.R.E. officer was shot in the face. Well, maybe he wasn't shot in the face. Maybe they just caught a couple of guys as they flushed goods down the toilet. I honestly don't remember the end of the story. The reason for remembrance of the other details is because I was so impressed that he could pass as a teenager when he was clearly such an old guy (probably mid to late 20's). Such a sneaky feat. What a guy.
Here I am, 26 and on the job for about two weeks at the high school as a teacher. Let me relate some encounters I've had:
1. The first day I have keys- It's morning and I'm standing at the main academic building fumbling around, looking for the right 1 out of 5 keys to open the locked doors. I desperately need to make some copies and all I can think about is how cold it is and would the home made snuggie my mom made me for Christmas be too unprofessional to wear around outside? The doors are locked but students are everywhere since it's about 15 minutes before the bell is supposed to ring (I must inform you that students are not aloud into that building until the bell rings. No exceptions.). So anyway. I'm there, fumbling and one of the security guards starts yelling at me "Hey. What are you doing?". "Um, I just need to make some copies." He then proceeded to remind me "You know you're not allowed in the building before school." I then had to convince him I was a teacher because I didn't have my i.d. on me. Sort of embarrassing.
2. I take some of my kids to the library- We had some stuff to do. We walked in and stood by the desk. I looked a little lost since I'd never been in there before. The librarian addressed the group (3 of us) and inquired, "Do you guys have a pass from your teacher?" I let her know pretty quick that I was the teacher. "Oh! Ha ha!" was her reply. Call me a student again? I don't think so.
3. I ruined my sticker parking pass- So I went to the bookstore to get a new one. Despues me saying "Hi" all cheerful-like, the parking pass lady responded all crochedy-like "Yes?" I was a little afraid. The counter is on a semi-elevated stand so her towering over me was a little scary. "Um, I ruined my parking pass so I need to get a new one" was my reply. She rudely informed me "That will be five dollars." She talked to me like I was so dumb, as if she couldn't believe I was making her say it. "Okay," was my timid reply. There was an awkward silent pause as she stared me down while I fumbled for my wallet. I reached to hand her the money, which she didn't move to accept. Her slow-spoken, condescending query followed, "Do you have your student i.d.? Are you over 18?" "Um, I'm a teacher." After such a meek reply she drew in a breath, shocked. She was so embarrassed and apologetic, and nice from then on. The other lady who works there tried to make her feel better and told her she thought I was a student too. Really? Come on people.
4. I went to the nurse's office- This morning afforded me some dire need for Motrin. I asked the nurse for some and she just stared at me for a few seconds. "Are you a student?" At least she hesitated to ask, right?
So there you have it. I look like a student. This can be taken in many ways as a good or bad thing. I'm going to stick on the good side and possibly put in an application at the police department. Maybe I can be a cool undercover, future D.A.R.E guy. Right. I could have some serious fun with the business, as long as I don't get shot in the head! : )
As a side note, the poll is a little lacking. I'm lovin the votes that are up. Many blessings to you who have submitted. VOTE. As another side note, some good stories are cooking up. There are some pretty funny experiences had as a teacher. Definitely one of the most recent happenings will be posted soon. As another side note, it would be pretty cool if there were some more votes at the poll on the sidebar. It's the one with the weird face above it. VOTE!