(Not so) Dearest Customer Service,
Why do you play so hard to get? I want your number and you goad me on and on with questions and endless clicking that leads to nowhere, no number. Well, I'm done navigating your endless sea of complicated Customer Service. I've given up trying to play with your merciless, online schemes. I'll no longer need to visit your site with pleading desire, in search of your number. I asked Google and they gave it to me right away. I don't even know if you're aware that you have a number; It's nowhere to be found on your site, so here it is: 866-934-9647. Oh why did I waste so much time searching for it within the tangled web you've woven?
Talk To You Later,