I found Deeper Thoughts by Jack Handey at D.I. the other day. I love those bite-sized inspirations. I'll share a few nuggets with you now and then some others in a later post. Here they are:
"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page that you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid."
"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money."
"Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have."
"To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'"
"Whenever someone asks me to define love, I ususally think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. Now who's asking the questions?"
And one of my very favorites:
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone."